“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
I never really know how to start off a serious subject, I am one of those people who find it hard to open up and this leads to me exploding, and trust me that is not a pretty site, let's just say snotty tears comes to mind.
Growing up I never thought I would be one of those people who couldn't cope, I mean I never exactly had it easy as a child, I grew up with hand me downs and for a brief period lived on a mattress on my cousins living room floor, shared with my mum and my brother who was around 4 at the time, and even then I dealt with it, I didn't know anything different, but as I got older and moved out I had to do things on my own, at first I thought I was coping and I was having the best time of my life for an 18 year old, I mean who do you honestly know chooses to move out at such a young age? Unluckily for me that wasn't the case, I had to move out because of circumstances at home which meant I couldn't stay at home when I had a full time job - yes it sucked!
And neither less to say the fun did not last, I ended up getting myself in debt woooo, so 19 years old in debt, trying to afford rent and bills is not fun, but with a little support from friends and family I sorted my problems out, but I did have to make sacrifices, I lost things I cared about, things I loved because of my own stupidity, and I paid the price, I had to move away from my home town and family and friends because I had to make responsible decisions, so moving somewhere cheaper, not going out and saving money instead.
The funny thing about it all though is if I could do it again, I wouldn't change a single thing, it taught me to grow up and it made me who I am today, and that brings me on to the past 6 months.
I have suffered with anxiety for the past year, and when I first realized I had it, I ignored it and tried to carry on as normal, I mean I had been through so much surely I could cope right?Well guess what? I was wrong and before I knew it my anxiety spiralled out of control, I started having scary thoughts, cried all the time, panicked when someone would ring my door bell, but I didn't want to believe that I couldn't handle things, I had been through so much in my life I thought it was wrong that I wasn't coping, I didn't want help, I have always been so independent and proud that I felt like I was degrading myself, so I guess I'm writing this because I want to say things do get better, as much as you think they might not and you are in the lowest place, it wasn't degrading or wrong of me to seek help, it made me stronger and a fighter, so what of I'm on tablets, I don't need to be on them forever and I'm facing my problems instead of hiding them away, and even when bad things happen I can always see a positive.
So please don't give up, I'm sure glad I didn't.
Be proud of yourself no matter what because there is always something to be proud of, even the smallest thing.
Oh and if you have an asthma attack take your inhaler --- unlike the stupid person writing this. Hospitals are not fun :)
I needed time away from everything to sort out the craziness in my life, but I am back new year, new chapter and I can't wait to share it with every one, another thing I want everyone to know is my real name, and that is Anna, Meme is my nickname/blogger name, I will still like to go by this name just to keep my online and home life separate, but as this is a new chapter I thought everyone should know that sort of big fact.
Also exciting news, I am now an Avon rep so look out for product reviews and I am even considering starting a Youtube channel.